Hi it’s Jessica and her little monster Boo Bear. We are excited for tomorrow and wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Lots of exciting things happen on Christmas this will be M’s second and I’m pretty sure he’s going to enjoy it a lot. Before I had him I really didn’t want to celebrate Christmas at all, even last year I was trying so hard not to but it seems everyone around me makes it a huge deal and I grew up celebrating it. This year I see my son’s face light up over all the fluff and I’ve kind of embraced it more than ever! I don’t have very great memories of Christmas, not all bad I guess but coming from a family who is pretty much completely estranged from each other I just basically spend it all alone. This year I am not technically alone as I have my little one here with me as usual but we are alone This Christmas Eve.
Tomorrow I’ll have my other children over, I believe my brother will come exchange gifts as well and maybe my son’s father and his mother and husband will come. We were supposed to spend tonight with them at the great grand dads home but at the last minute the Oldman decided that he didn’t want a baby to visit. He is old (93) and on oxygen, has mestothelioma and not doing well so I completely understand. Not a big deal to me since this is nothing new anyway.
It’s great that I get to stay here, go to bed and wake up to my angels sweet smile. Now we get to cook our own dinner so we can all sit down and eat dinner tomorrow afternoon as a family. I didn’t plan on making anything but ham and pecan pie because those are my favorites from holiday, but now I’ll be making ham, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and stuffing along with my pie because come on, I only eat so I can have dessert! Just kidding, alittle. I may see what else I can throw together but that’s really all I need, just the basics.
After we eat we can open our gifts and maybe play a Christmas game and watch a movie before taking them home. I’m so grateful I’m alive and sober and can enjoy alittle of their time tomorrow and that I’m happily sitting at home on a special night that is just like any other night to me and accept it. Look I got to not only play in my planner and craft alittle but write a post as well.
The purpose of my post is to share that my Christmas Eve is not extravagant liked some of the post I keep seeing on social media, it’s simple, and a day that if not for being a mother I would be spending alone like I have many other previous years but that’s the beauty of it. If you are sitting there feeling lonely, with out anyone to share the day with just remember, for one you aren’t the only one, second not every one celebrates Christmas anyway and last but not least, embrace it in your very own way. If you are all by yourself you get to choose what you want to do, what you want to make, what you wanna wear! So go sit in your Christmas PJs and drink some hot cocoa watching your favorite movie and enjoy this night. If you aren’t alone do that as well because sometimes even surrounded by others you feel alone or like you are going to goo crazy anyway.
Just enjoy Christmas, with love from my family to yours! As always thanks for stopping by!