Warning this post is completely unorganized and I’m rambling lol.
So amazing that me and my little guy have been together for a month now. I’m biased of course but he is the cutest little human ever!! I was so surprised at how perfect he was when he arrived and very grateful he was in very good health! No major problems here but guess what not every moment has been as cute as he is, lol.
This is my 3Rd child but literally after 10years and not raising my other 2 for so long i was just as nervous as a first time mother and i spent all I had on things I didn’t need bc believe me I couldn’t remember what I really needed or my views changed alittle here and there plus there is so much new different things available i just thought they were needed. Turns out I really over reacted with trying to do things the right, perfect way in my head because let’s be honest my idea of what i needed to be a great mother was absurd and unrealistic. I think I was just extra scared based on my past life and was terrified i would screw it up again.
In reality though it wasn’t necessarily that I wasn’t prepared or that my parenting skills or lack there of had anything to do with losing my children. I was a great mother, the best i could be anyway and that’s based differently on everyone’s opinion so why did I worry so much?
I tried to prepare this time based on someone else’s idea of what the perfect parent is. The one thing i didn’t do is get enough research about other parenting styles. I should have read more blogs before but I was so sick and felt so terrible all I really read about was pregnancy issues. I bought more things than I needed and spent so much money on them and now I accept that is completely okay for me to be a co-sleeping mother. That’s how we are both comfortable and i feel safe despite all the warnings and scares. It took me 2weeks to tell anyone but I Co-slept with my other kids and I was judged so I spent 500 on a crib thinking I’d do it right but that right doesn’t work for me. And to top it off my son will not sleep on his back. It’s stressed so much ABC but he will not stay asleep like that. He rolled to his side at a week old, that’s who he is. So needless to say his crib, in fact his nursery is pretty much just for show. I also bought a WiFi video monitor, now I thought this was the most important thing, and maybe it is for some but if there’s a chance you’ll be co-sleeping I’d hold off on it because it was actually very shitty and doesn’t even work. Definitely do a lot of research and plan on spending a lot to get a good one bc the reasonably priced ones aren’t all they seem to be. Also even though I can’t hear my doorbell while upstairs for instance my baby crys so loud that I can hear him while I’m sitting outside and he’s in bed. Kind of crazy because i thought the monitor was the most important thing at all and now that I opened it I can’t even return it.
The next thing I think I might have wasted money on is cloth diapers. Someone mentioned them to me and I looked them up and oh my god so much cuteness. I thought it’d save me some money by investing in the beginning. Well not saying cloth diapers aren’t the way to go, I’m still trying but oh my do some research. I don’t know how I stumbled across more information since buying them than I did before but apparently you don’t just buy cloth expect them to work and expect to throw them in the wash like everything else. There’s different types, brands and sizes and i think I almost put microfiber on my baby’s bum which is actually a big no-no. The pockets I have are one size but even though he’s finally over 9lbs I’m still not 100% comfortable with the way they fit. And now I’m pretty spoiled with the pee strip on the pampers bc i no he peed before it gets full and leaks. But I still really want to make them work so tomorrow when my charcoal inserts get here I’m going to try again.
This is getting super long so I apologize. I wonder what else I need to mention. All of this stuff is overwhelming. If you plan on baby wearing do lots of research before you waste money, don’t forget to look up local groups. And nursing get lots of info if you aren’t too sure or if you struggle because you’d be surprised the problems you can make it through. Prepare a lot of food, 2weeks wasn’t enough for me, i mostly starve or eat junk these days. It’s terrible. And don’t worry if your child crys constantly for no reason. If when you pick him up and he does fine when nursing he just needed comfort and or food. Babies are growing, my son has grown fast so far because I nurse on demand and sometimes that demand is hours upon hours, days after days. If it gets stressful just take 10minutes to yourself in a quiet place and go back to caring for your child. He needs you, that’s why he’s crying and despite what anyone says there’s nothing wrong with ‘spoiling’ your newborn. Pretty soon they will begin to soothe themselves and become independent so fast you’ll wish you spent every moment you could cuddling. Also let the house go. Not to bad of course but don’t worry about cleaning every day or spending hours scrubbing every weekend. I was OCD with my other kids so afraid of the germs but in reality they aren’t exposed to a lot of germs in your house and the ones they are probably aren’t as bad as the outside world and a plus it’s that the more we are exposed the stronger our immune systems become and that’s another plus of breastfeeding, your body will create exactly what your baby needs to fight off exposed illnesses. Breastfeeding is truly an amazing thing and the bond is incredibly strong for a lifetime. My baby may be attached to my boob all the time but it’s the most rewarding thing to being a mother.
So I really don’t know what I’m saying, I feel like I’m rambling but hey I made an effort to write a post this evening all while nursing a fussy baby because let’s face it the only thing I don’t nurse through is driving. I nurse all the time, while picking up the trash, while changing the laundry, while making and eating a sandwich, while sleeping and even taking a bath. In fact that’s his favorite part of every night. Laying in the tub nursing for 30minutes before going to bed and nursing for another 30. Remember just to wing it and do the very best that you can because there’s not a single way or thing that will make you perfect except creating a bond of love and trust with your new infant. I’m so excited to have made it to the one month mark without losing my mind and with having a son who truly loves his mommy. Our bond is so strong that i would recommend attachment parenting to anyone. It’s maybe not for everyone but i can’t imagine it any other way.